Our Gig at Rutherford's Last Night

Band practice just ended yesterday like it normally did; Larry shared his pick-up line of the day (he has a calender) and Gilbert reanacted his dream he had last night involving Martha Stewart and water polo. No one really cared. Roxie was being weird, as usual, and fluffing her blonde/purple afro with a wrench she found on the band suite floor. We were all about to go and play video games (we play Guitar Hero to strengthen our musical abilities. We would play Rock Band but my little sister Rudolph sat on the disc so it's broken) when my Mom came into telling me that Uncle Denny was on the phone.

Uncle Denny's the type of uncle who will take you to a fun fair and let you get a tattoo. He's my mom's brother and he owns a restaurant called Rutherford's ("dang tootin' I wouldda called it Denny's but someone went and already took that name!). Occasionally he has live preformances at Rutherford's, but its mostly just him doing a sock puppet show or his wife (Aunt June) on the accordian. But occasionally he lets MCM rock the house when his puppet is at the laundromat or Aunt June's in Vegas. And this was one of those nights.

After I got off the phone with Denny I explained the good news to the band. Here's how the conversation went:

Gilbert: [on Runescape] Take that n00bs!

Shrub: Get off the computer Gilb.

Percy: Dudes, we got a gig.

Larry: For real?

Me: Legit.

Roxie: Where?

Me: Rutherford's.

Roxie: [sighs] But we always play there

Me: Roxie go live in a box.

Shrub: Don't tell her to live in a box!

Me: Sticking up for your girlfriend Shrub?

Shrub: She's not my girlfriend!

Me: I hope not.

Larry: Guys, we need to to talk costumes.

Gilb: Yeah homies.

Me: Gilb don't say homie. And any ideas for costumes?

Larry: It's gotta be something new, fresh.

Roxie: I'm thinking cheetah print.

Me: What are we, the Cheetah Girls?

Gilb: Dibs on Raven!

Larry: I've these sick red leather jackets from my mom's 80's days. 

Me: Perfect, bring 'em to da gig.

Larry: Solid.

*commence fist bump*

Two hours later we were at Rutherford's–ready to rock and play our three songs.  All we needed was the costumes, and Larry had given them to Roxie who had given them to Shrub who was late. We looked totally lame and unofficial without those jackets. We were all like; where the mustard is Shrub?

Finally he came in like two minutes later. Here's our convo:

Shrub: Sorry I'm late guys. I was on my way over here then some hobo stole my segway. And my sandwich.

Gilb: That's awful! What kind of sandwich was it?

Shrub: Guacamole. I had to walk two miles here.

Me: Dude do you have the costumes.

Shrub: Yeah bro.

Me: Well reveal them!

Turns out the costumes weren't red leather jackets but leotards. Larry's mom teaches girl scouts to ice skate, and he must have taken the wrong bag. 

So now we were going live in five minutes, and had nothing but leotards. So we did the only thing any respectable rocker would do; we tied them around our heads.

The concert went pretty well. Five people showed up; only three of which actually worked there. We were so sick nasty ill. At first everyone was all like "dudes what kind of puke are you wearing?" when they saw the leotards on our head (which I had to admit made me look even hotter than I already am). After we sang two songs Denny did his Paris Hilton impersonation then joined us on the tamberine. MCM likes to mix things up every once in a while–we're like Lunchables: we never expire.

NEW SONG LYRICS: Big Blue Wahle

Hey here's MCM's new song called Big Blue Whale. It's just the lyrics so far. Don't steal it or I'll hunt you down with my killer instincts.

--Percy

BIG BLUE WHALE

I wake up

it's a snowy afternoon

I got out of bed

put on my ... shoes

See yo' face

On my computer screen

Your IMin'

all over me

but I turn my status to 'away'

I don't wanna talk to you today ....

CHORUS:

Cause a you're a big blue whale 

in the ocean of my heart

[beat beat]

ocean of my heart

[beat beat]

And I'm a whaler

Roaming the seas

then I see your tail

cause your a whale ...

Baby you stuck a harpoon 

in my heart

I go to school

lookin' cool

like I always do

and then you're there

butterfly clips in your hair

socks on your feet

then I hear the beat

of my heart

heart

heart

CHORUS

Baby you're a whale ...

[Big Blue Whale]

You have a tail ...

[Cause You're A Whale]

Please don't kill me with a harpoon

Cause I don't to to be beached ...

CHORUS [x2]

Be jealous. 

Up Close and Personal With ... Percy

Kay Rockers and Dudettes.

Everyone once in a while our blog will do a feature on one of the band members. Since I'm clearly the most jacked, I shall go first.

Name: Percy Nuglet

Age: 16

Dating Status: Single (but not for long ... )

Rating (1-10): 11

Physical appearance: attractive

Likes: Music, Xbox, MCM (dur), the ladies (call me), salsa (the food not the dance -- dancing makes my thighs ache)

Dislikes: Roxie, my little sister (Rudolph), lima beans, poetry, Roxie, blenders, chores, math, science, french, english, history, debate team. Oh yeah and Roxie. And Snuggies. Those things give me nightmares.

Instrument: Vocals, electric piccalo (a lot of peeps have been all up in my face and been all "what's an electric piccalo". So I shall explain. An electric piccalo is simply a piccalo that you plug into a socket. Kaythxbye.)

Fave MCM Song: Plumber 

Recent Projects: In English class we had to write poems. I hate poetry, but my poem pretty much beasted the whole class indefinately. It's so good that I'm willing to post it here (who knows, maybe one day MCM will turn it into a song). I'm so deep its not even funny.

Percy's Poem: The Fire Within

luv is like a candle

everlasting and burning

with a firey rage

like a lion

roar

roar

meow

scratch

meow

purrrrrrrr

a lion that sleeps in a cave

beckoning its prey

a bird flutters by

flying home to its mother

just a baby

spreading its wings

it flies into a tree

the baby bird is dead

OWNED.

Band Members

Here is a bit of info about the members of the one, the only, Mac and Cheese Mermaid. We all wrote some things about each other:

Percy Nuglet (me)

Percy: You may know me, you may not. I'm that mysterious stranger that everyone wants but no one can have. That's why I've never had a girlfriend. But I will soon, the ladies shall come to me once their hear the sweet sounds of my music. In the band I'm kinda the leader, the king, the dominant Gorilla, the alpha dog. I am vocals and the electric piccalo player. I don't care what my mom says, the electric piccalo is a babe magnet.

Shrub: Percy's the man yo. He's wicked beast at just about everything. I remember that one time he got my chinchilla out of the vaacuum in under 10 seconds. That was flat out impressive.

Larry: Percy's cool, but he'd be cooler if he paid me that 20 bucks he owes me.

Gilbert: Percy you are so stylish and cool! You put the funk in FUNKtastic!

Roxie: Weirdo.

Ludwig "Shrub" Nelson

Percy: Shrub's my home boi, my BFFL. We've been wing men since second grade when we filled all the girl's backpacks with sand. He's beast at scrabble and has a sick chinchilla named Frank. That little guy is bullet proof (Frank, not Shrub. If I ever did shoot Shrub he'd totally be wounded, no offense). He's been in vaacums, fish tanks, microwaves–and he still has all his fur. Shrub plays lead guitar.

Shrub: Call me Ludwig and you die. 

Larry: Shrub you still have my netted man tank top and I want it back.

Gilbert: Shrub; youdabomb.com!

Roxie: You're hott.

Percy: Ew.

One-Eyed Larry Peterson

Percy: Larry doesn't actually have one eye, he just likes to be called that. Sometimes he doesn't even wear an eyepatch, and when he does it's only to attract girls and look like a pirate at the same time. He thinks of himself as a fashion icon and universal symbol of hotness. He plays drums.

Shrub: Dude, Larry you're a sick drum player but you aren't a fashion icon.

Larry: Am too.

Gilbert: Larry I think your cat gave me rabies. But you're still wicked awesome man!

Roxie: Eh.

Gilbert Yoscotti

Percy: Gilbert's my cousin, and my mom made him join the band. He has tons of t-shirts with jokes about chemistry and reanacts every episode of star trek through his action figures and uploads them onto the internet. So far he's gone like 4 views combined. Gilbert's not as musically talented as the rest of us, so we just let him play the triangle. 

Shrub: Gilbert, Gilbert ... where to begin?

Larry: I must give you props about being the only person in the band who hasn't returned something of mine they borrowed.

Gilbert: Thanks bra.

Larry: Dude I am not lingerie.

Roxie: Gilbert you make good snickerdoodles.

Roxie Elyards

Percy: Long story short, we were in desperate need of a keyboard player and the only two people who auditioned were Roxie and Jojo. Jojo is a hobo who sits outside the bakery and grabs people's feet as they walk by. I doubt he can even play the keyboard, and when he came to my house he just stole all my Lean Cuisine meals then ran away. So Roxie was a last resort. She works at Club Libby Lu and eats mac and cheese through a straw. Seriously, who does that?

Shrub: Roxie I like how your hair is half purple and half blonde.

Percy: Oh yeah and Shrub kinda has a thing for her.

Shrub: Shut up man stop spreading lies.

Larry: Roxie you borrowed my staple gun and I want it back.

Gilbert: You are the only girl I don't feel nervous around, probably because Percy keeps trying to convince me that you're secretly a man.

Percy: It would explain a lot.

Roxie: Thanks guys, I'm feeling the love.

So, yeah, that's the band.

I know, you're jealous.

Introduction to Awesomeness

Mmmkay dudes.

I know you're probably in some sort of daze right now. You've just logged onto this site and you have been blown away by this delicious blog. You don't understand what it means or what it's about, you're just amazed. Well young grasshopper I don't blame you. Come with me, follow me, and let me be your tour guide as I reveal to the world the sickest band ever to hit anything:

MAC AND CHEESE MERMAID.

[que screaming fans]

We plain rock out loud, no questions asked. 

We're so cool, that we make ice look hot.

Haven't heard of us? Well, we're not exactly famous. Yet. But will be huge one day. And I don't mean fat huge but like famous huge, like you're gonna see our faces on paper towels and stuff. Our music is rock–in a nutshell. But really, Mac and Cheese Mermaid (MCM) is way more than that. We have our own unique beat and once we become famous we'll get our own genre.

But for now, we're playing in my garage and at my uncle's diner. It's not the most glamorous job anywhere, but at least we get free bacon. 

So. Yeah.

Explore the site young grasshopper. Be prepared to have your mind blown out of your body.

--Percy, lead singer of MCM and electric piccalo player