1) I got an iguana and it chewed up my computer wires.
2) Rudolph sat on said iguana and it bit her buttocks so she tried to sue me
3) I didn't have a good lawyer so I ended up in student court with Gilb defending me
4) I ended up having to pay Rudolph $25 and have to kill the iguana myself (student court is cruel)
5) so I went in the alley after the case and ran over Rafael (my iguana) with my powerscooter
6) It was wicked sad, but at least I earned some street cred
7) I had swine.
But anywhosums, all that stuff was cleared up a couple days ago, and me and Gilbert were holding auditions for our new band Carbon Monoxide: Gone Wild (CMGW for short). And to answer your question, no, Shrub and I have not made up yet. I don't play on it, he left the band and said we were going no where. He stabbed me in the back, and bras don't do that to other bras. They just don't. So whatevs, he can chill by himself, with The Dark Lord (aka Roxie), but he needs to stay outta my grill. And to answer your other question, yes, I am single. ;)
So Gilb and I had auditions today at my house. I put flyers up everywhere. At school, in the caff, in my math class, on the white board, in the faculty dinning room, the grocery store, the gas station, and in a local prison (just in case any of the prisoners get out early and can play a wicked bass). I expected the house to be swamped, people flowing in everywhere. But not a lot of people came, which just goes to show how bad the school system is at teaching kids how to read. The poor things probably had no clue what the flyers were saying. But the kids who could read, came.
We had four auditioneers:
--Minxy: random girl who I didn't even know went to our school. Everywhere except her face is covered with vampire anime which she apparently draws on herself during lunch. She has long dark black hair and is wicked skinny, but keeps like 20 corn dogs in her backpack. She can eat two in 43.2 seconds. Yeah, that's right, I counted. She's kinda weird, and her voice sounds like the Basilisk from Harry Potter, but she can play the tamberine decently.
--Jojo: local hobo. He just came for the food. I gave him some Hot Pockets, then told him to leave. He ran back in a couple minutes later and tried to steal our Blue Ray, but I kicked him out before he could take it, so he ended up just swiping my mom's credit card. Whatever.
---Daryl: Some weird sixth grader who is apparently a genius. He goes to our school and is in 12th grade math. He gets beat up constantly. He doesn't like communicating with other people, but his mom told him to try new things or else she'd take away his PlayStation and kill off his Sims family. He wears a neck brace, but his neck actually isn't broken, he just has skin issues. He plays recorder. He was OK.
---Malcom: one of the most popular kids in school, captain of the billiards team. He brought his video camera and was filming the auditions to put on Myspace. He said he was making a video about the lamest audition ever and that it would be hilarious, but we let him stay. Partially because there's no such thing as negative press, partially because he brought fig newtons.
We're still making our decisions about the band. Stay online. We'll make our decision shortly.
