Our Gig at Rutherford's Last Night

Band practice just ended yesterday like it normally did; Larry shared his pick-up line of the day (he has a calender) and Gilbert reanacted his dream he had last night involving Martha Stewart and water polo. No one really cared. Roxie was being weird, as usual, and fluffing her blonde/purple afro with a wrench she found on the band suite floor. We were all about to go and play video games (we play Guitar Hero to strengthen our musical abilities. We would play Rock Band but my little sister Rudolph sat on the disc so it's broken) when my Mom came into telling me that Uncle Denny was on the phone.

Uncle Denny's the type of uncle who will take you to a fun fair and let you get a tattoo. He's my mom's brother and he owns a restaurant called Rutherford's ("dang tootin' I wouldda called it Denny's but someone went and already took that name!). Occasionally he has live preformances at Rutherford's, but its mostly just him doing a sock puppet show or his wife (Aunt June) on the accordian. But occasionally he lets MCM rock the house when his puppet is at the laundromat or Aunt June's in Vegas. And this was one of those nights.

After I got off the phone with Denny I explained the good news to the band. Here's how the conversation went:

Gilbert: [on Runescape] Take that n00bs!

Shrub: Get off the computer Gilb.

Percy: Dudes, we got a gig.

Larry: For real?

Me: Legit.

Roxie: Where?

Me: Rutherford's.

Roxie: [sighs] But we always play there

Me: Roxie go live in a box.

Shrub: Don't tell her to live in a box!

Me: Sticking up for your girlfriend Shrub?

Shrub: She's not my girlfriend!

Me: I hope not.

Larry: Guys, we need to to talk costumes.

Gilb: Yeah homies.

Me: Gilb don't say homie. And any ideas for costumes?

Larry: It's gotta be something new, fresh.

Roxie: I'm thinking cheetah print.

Me: What are we, the Cheetah Girls?

Gilb: Dibs on Raven!

Larry: I've these sick red leather jackets from my mom's 80's days. 

Me: Perfect, bring 'em to da gig.

Larry: Solid.

*commence fist bump*

Two hours later we were at Rutherford's–ready to rock and play our three songs.  All we needed was the costumes, and Larry had given them to Roxie who had given them to Shrub who was late. We looked totally lame and unofficial without those jackets. We were all like; where the mustard is Shrub?

Finally he came in like two minutes later. Here's our convo:

Shrub: Sorry I'm late guys. I was on my way over here then some hobo stole my segway. And my sandwich.

Gilb: That's awful! What kind of sandwich was it?

Shrub: Guacamole. I had to walk two miles here.

Me: Dude do you have the costumes.

Shrub: Yeah bro.

Me: Well reveal them!

Turns out the costumes weren't red leather jackets but leotards. Larry's mom teaches girl scouts to ice skate, and he must have taken the wrong bag. 

So now we were going live in five minutes, and had nothing but leotards. So we did the only thing any respectable rocker would do; we tied them around our heads.

The concert went pretty well. Five people showed up; only three of which actually worked there. We were so sick nasty ill. At first everyone was all like "dudes what kind of puke are you wearing?" when they saw the leotards on our head (which I had to admit made me look even hotter than I already am). After we sang two songs Denny did his Paris Hilton impersonation then joined us on the tamberine. MCM likes to mix things up every once in a while–we're like Lunchables: we never expire.