The World Has Turned to Jello

NEWSFLASH: 

THE WORLD HAS ENDED.

Everything is wrong.

Everything is JELLO.

Why?

You ask.

Well, young grasshopper,

Shrub asked out Roxie.

AND SHE SAID YES.

Life in a spinning vortex of confusion (whoa, I just dazzled myself with that deepness). I mean seriously. These past couple weeks have been so confuzin'.

EXHIBIT A:

I was at a Subway and I asked out the cashier. She not only hit me with salami but as I was leaving I said, "I guess you're not into hot guys" and then she said "well that doesn't apply to you". Seriously. She must have been blind. And deaf (my voice is like a harp).

EXHIBIT B:

I was jammin in my garage all freestyle and then my neighbor came in screaming she'd called an ambulence. She thought she heard the sounds of someone giving birth, but it was just my music. I do not sound like I am giving birth, I sound like a tiger. Roar. Hi-ya!

EXHIBIT C (the worst evidence ever):

Shrub asked out Roxie. On AIM. He emailed me the convo.

Shrubinator: Hey.

FoxyRoxie54 (HAHAHAHAHA. Foxy. Yeah, right.): Um, like, hey

Shrubinator: My cousin got at Sea World.

FoxyRoxie54: That's nice.

Shrubinator: One of the manatees is expected to give birth on Saturday night.

FoxyRoxie54: Great.

Shrubinator: My cousin invited me. I can bring a guest. Would you like to come?

FoxyRoxie54: Like a date?

Shrubinator: Yea gurl.

FoxyRoxie54: Well my cable's out so I have nothing better to do.

They went. Shrub wouldn't tell me anything. Except for the named the baby manatee Chuck.