Rainbow Girls Contest

Guess what? About a month ago, I was really hungry one afternoon and our house had no food. I was too lazy to go buy food, so I decided to eat paper. As I was scarfing down the bills, I noticed that Rudolph got an letter from the NRGA (National Rainbow Girls Association). They say that curiosity killed the cat, and we all know that I am very puma-like with da ladiez, so I opened it. It was asking her, a Rainbow Girl, to enter a national poetry contest. All you had to do was write a poem about friendship. I was about to eat this letter, but then I that the prize was a life supply of rice wafers and molasses. I was still starving at this point, and even thought I am not a girl, or a rainbow,  I decided to enter under Rudolph's name.

My poem was da bomb. Here it is (don't sit down cause you'll just jump right up):

friendship

is a smoothie

of fun

and laughter

and joy

and cookies

sometimes its sweet

sometimes its smooth

but sometimes its a chunker

and is too icy

and sometimes it can get stuck in your throat

but at the end of the day

no matter how gross it is

you are craving that smoothie

of love. 

Today, during my epic finger puppet battle, the mail came. I found a letter addressed to Miss Rudolph Nuglet from the NRGA, so naturally I opened it (it is only illegal to open someone's mail if you aren't famous. I will be famous soon, and let's face it famous people can do any crime they want and not get in trouble). It said she won. Now I'm a lot of things. Hot, attractive, appealing, delicious, buff, talented, magical, and salty. But a poet? I wasn't even so sure. I was in a vortex of confusion. Until the dump truck left 20 barrels of molasses and rice wafers in our driveway. Then things came into perspective for me. 

The first thing I did was cover all of Rudolph's underwear in molasses. The next thing I did was prank call Roxie. And the third thing I did was pour the molasses into a plastic swimming pool and take videos of me swimming in it and upload them on youtube. But the fourth thing I did was think about what I'd done. It wasn't really in my name who this stuff belonged to, technically Rudolph had won. What if she received some trophy or something at her next Rainbow Girls meeting, and had no clue what they were talking about? They couldn't take back the molasses pool, I had already peed in it. Suddenly I knew: I had to tell Rudolph the truth. 

Rudolph's bedroom was across the hall from mine, so instead of walking all the way over there I just IMed her and said: "Hey sis. I entered a NRGA contest and won molasses and wafers under your name. LOL. Your hair looks like parmesan cheese. LMFAO."

She just said: "whatever. You are such a loser."

I took that as a "Yes, keep the molasses and rice wafers, and put them in my backpack tomorrow."

I did as I was told.